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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28679031">turning the car around</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh'>itisjosh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adopted Children, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Arguing, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Humor, Gen, No Angst, Road Trips, Sibling Rivalry, eret &amp; tubbo &amp; ranboo are siblings, hello i like to call this au adoptiontwt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:14:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28679031</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil is tired, he feels like he's going to purposefully crash his car, and he isn't sure how much longer he can handle this shit. </p><p>(alternatively; road trip au)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eret &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Phil Watson, ranboo &amp; toby smith | tubbo &amp; eret &amp; phil watson (video blogging rpf)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>603</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>turning the car around</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Phil is tired, he feels like he's going to purposefully crash his car, and he isn't sure how much longer he can handle this shit. </p><p>"Get off of me, get the fuck off!" Tubbo shouts, flailing around in the back. "Ranboo, stop it, stop! Stop, I said sorry, I said sorry! Ranboo, stop, stop it! Stop it, you fucking prick, <em>Ranboo!</em>"</p><p>"Canon death!" Ranboo shouts back, and Phil glances over his shoulder, feeling like swerving into oncoming traffic might be a good idea. "If you keep this up, Tubbo, I'm going to start stabbing you, I swear to god, Tubbo, I swear to g-"</p><p>Phil sighs, loud enough for everyone in the car to hear him. Eret sits a little straighter in the front seat, a smug smirk on his face. He shifts from side to side, grinning before he turns his head so Phil can't see him. "If you two keep this shit up," Phil starts, tightening his grip on the steering wheel, "I'll turn this fucking car around," Phil threatens, although it isn't really much of a threat, it's more of a promise. "Ranboo, stop fucking around with your brother, Tubbo, stop talking about piss." Tubbo laughs, clapping his hands together. Ranboo sighs, and Phil wonders how much longer his middle son can handle this. Probably not very long, Phil thinks.

</p><p>"Listen to me, Phil," Ranboo sighs. "I can't take this anymore. I'm going to jump out of this car. I don't like this, Phil. I can't do this, Phil. I'm going insane, Phil. I'm going to jump out of the car and I'm going to take him with me." Tubbo whines, sounding mildly distressed. </p><p>"Not <em>again</em>," Tubbo complains, and Phil briefly wonders what the fuck he means by that. Phil realises that he doesn't care a second later, figuring that at least if Ranboo takes Tubbo with them, they might have a chance of surviving the fall. "Phil, Ranboo is being mean to me! He keeps threatening to kill me, I think you should make him stop." He whines. Phil sighs, wishing that he had decided against this. </p><p>Eret was the one who convinced him to do this, and Phil wonders if he should toss him out of the car. "This is your fault," Phil tells his oldest, watching as Eret turns to look at him, raising his eyebrows. He tilts his sunglasses down slightly, looking vaguely confused. "You convinced me to take you all out. This is your fault," Eret laughs, the confusion on his face being replaced by a wide grin, his eyes crinkling at the sides before he pushes his glasses back up. "I expect you to repay me." </p><p>"How?" Eret asks, ducking his head as he laughs. "Do you want me to kill the kids?" He raises an eyebrow, motioning back to Ranboo and Tubbo, who have gone eerily quiet. "Oh, they..Tubbo is in a headlock. Ranboo, don't- why are you-"</p><p>"Shh," Ranboo whispers, and Phil turns back to face his son. Eret wasn't lying to him. Tubbo stares at him with wide eyes, mouthing the word "help" over and over again. Phil sighs, turning back to face the road. "He deserves this after all he's done," Ranboo announces, sounding all too casual for what he's doing. "I think that this is just revenge for all that I've been put through. In the backseat." </p><p>"We can trade the next time we stop," Eret assures him. "Speaking of, is there a gas station nearby? My legs are starting to hurt." Phil levels him with a glare, narrowing his eyes as much as he can. </p><p>"Don't start complaining, or else I'm going to tell Ranboo to put <em>you</em> in a headlock," Phil threatens, watching as Eret holds up his hands in defence. "Ranboo, release your little brother. I don't have time to bury a body." </p><p>Ranboo laughs, reaching out to pat Phil's shoulder. "Dad, don't worry. <em>I'll</em> bury the body. I'd never put you under stress like that, I promise," Phil tilts his head back, laughing a little harder than he thinks that he probably should. "I think that there's a McDonald's like, right up- oh, and we've passed it, okay, uh-"</p><p>"No food for you shitheads," Phil tells them, tapping his finger against the steering wheel. "Ranboo, let go of Tubbo. He's going to start crying, and then he's going to guilt me, and then I'm going to have to kick him out of the car."</p><p>"Again," Eret, ever so helpfully, adds. "Just like the first time." </p><p>Phil is going to kill him, right after he kicks Tubbo out of the car and puts handcuffs on Ranboo. "I'm putting you all back up for adoption. I made a mistake in bringing all of you home, it was a mistake. Next gas station I see, I'm leaving you all there." </p><p>"That," Ranboo starts, "would hurt my feelings. I would feel very upset, and you tell me to talk about my feelings more, so that's all I'd be talking about. I would cry. I would cry very hard, Phil. I'd cry. I would cry a lot." </p><p>"That sounds like a you problem," Phil snorts, rolling his eyes. "I'll give you a couple of pounds, you'll be fine." Eret laughs, putting his hands behind his head. </p><p>"Phil, if you get rid of me, I'd also cry. I'm going through a villian arc right now, Phil. I'm very pissed off, and I think that I'm going to start killing things. I'm going through mass amounts of trauma right now, and I really don't think you want to see that. Villain arc, you know?" </p><p>"Then <em>cry</em>." Phil laughs, taking a left turn. He knows that he isn't supposed to, but he wonders if his kids will notice. </p><p>Ranboo is the first to sigh. "He's kidnapping us. He's kidnapping us, guys, he's kidnapping us. I don't like this, Philza. I don't like where you're taking us. This feels like a very bad thing to be doing right now, and I don't really think that this is a good idea, and I-"</p><p>"Shut."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"<em>Shut</em>," Phil repeats. "Cease. Stop. Belt," Eret laughs, trying and failing to hide a grin. "I fully expect at <em>least</em> two hundred pounds from all three of you when I wake up in the morning."</p><p>"I don't.." Tubbo sighs. "Philza Minecraft, you are just worsening my villain arc. I'm just going to start crying now, actually."</p><p>"Good," Ranboo snorts. "Good. Cry, you little terror child."</p><p>"You're barely even older than me!" Tubbo whines, and Phil hears someone get hit. He isn't sure which one of his sons just got punched, but he's fairly certain that it might have been Tubbo. "This is just assault, I'm going to fucking cry, Ranboo. I'm about to fucking cry, do you understand that? Do you understand me, Ranboo? I'm going to fucking cry, I'm going to-"</p><p>He sighs, reaching out to turn up the radio, <em>Everybody's Rooftop Run</em>, to drown out the noise. </p><p>Phil doesn't know how much longer he'll be able to deal with his sons' bullshit, but he knows that he wouldn't trade it for anything else.</p><p>No matter how much he's considering putting them up for adoption. </p>
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